Man Under the Mistletoe Page 7
Who was this man? She searched his face, desperately wanting to know, but his expression was veiled in the dim light.
“I’m sorry.” The words came out without her being aware she’d spoken.
“About what?” His voice sharpened, one eyebrow rose warily.
“All the responsibilities you have to bear. They probably started at a very young age.”
The threat vanished. He began to chuckle. “Sort of poor little rich boy, huh?”
He shook his head and grinned with malicious hardness, mocking her for being a fool, for thinking that someone with his armor would need her pity. It hurt to have her compassion thrown back in her face.
“I’m sorry.” Her throat tightened; she felt tears burn behind her eyes and quickly turned before he saw them and misconstrued the reason.
Before she had taken two blind steps, he moved swiftly and silently around the desk to stop her with a hand on her arm, gruff and slightly apologetic. “What are you sorry for this time?”
Her pounding heart was making her breathless. Feeling his fingers curled around her, the heat of his body so close to hers, she could barely speak. “For being so presumptuous.”
She heard him sigh; then he turned her around with both hands and looked down into her face. She couldn’t hide the tears in her eyes, making his face shimmer in the dim light.
He gave a sigh of impatience and his hands—warm, gentle hands—framed her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
Blinking the tears away, she saw his remorse, but now the hunger in his eyes was no longer veiled; it burned down into her like a scorching flame. But with a cold, bleak edge that told her he didn’t want to feel the attraction any more than she did.
“I think I’d better go home now,” she murmured, but found herself leaning toward him instead of pulling away. Now she knew for certain he wanted her to stay, but that would be lunacy.
His voice was barely a whisper. “Yes, I think it’s best that you leave.”
Without conscious thought she stepped toward him and heard his sharp indrawn breath. One hand slid around to cup the back of her head and bring her gently but inexorably closer.
The moment she felt his mouth on hers, her body seemed to melt and go up in flames at the same time. Like a moment she’d been waiting for forever. And yet she seemed to know his kiss already, knew the shape of his lips with the intimacy of a lover.
His male scent invaded her senses and she sighed, feeling his firm, hard mouth softening, clinging to hers. Dizzying sensations went shivering through her. She eagerly opened her mouth to his plunging ravishment, glad of his supporting arms wrapped tightly around her. As their tongues entwined, she shuddered with an intensity of feeling that went beyond pleasure, to become almost excruciating. She clung tighter as a little moan escaped her throat.
Michael broke away abruptly, grasping her shoulders to put her away from him, and she saw the stunned realization in his eyes.
What were they doing? Shocked at her own instinctive, shameless response, Sabrina moved quickly backward.
Michael turned away and ran a hand through his hair. On shaking legs, she stepped over to pick up her briefcase and turned back to see him watching her, determination in his eyes.
His chest rose and fell rapidly, but obviously he had already begun mastering the physical reaction. His voice was firm, bearing only a slight betraying trace of raggedness. “It would be useless to deny that I’m attracted to you, but it won’t go any further, I can promise you that. I can’t afford a sexual harassment suit.”
She felt as if he’d plunged a knife in her breast. Sabrina strove to control her shaky breathing and cleared her throat. “Sexual harassment! We both know it was mutual.”
“Yes, but what’s to prevent you from turning around later and saying I forced you to submit to me, by threatening you with the loss of your job?”
“I’ll tell you what’s to prevent me.” Her voice was shaking with anger as he gave the knife another twist. “My honesty and scruples!”
“Calm down. I’m not suggesting that you would.” He gave her a weary, cynical smile. “But when it comes to money, it’s easy for greed to supplant scruples. I’m a very wealthy man and an obvious target for something like that. Although I can afford the best legal talent in the country. The charges would never stick.”
He felt like a bastard. And that was exactly what he wanted her to think of him. It was the only way to protect her from himself.
Deep down inside he’d wanted that kiss to happen—he knew that now. He was disgusted with his own hypocrisy and a little afraid that she could make him lose his self-control so easily. From now on, Sabrina Cates was off-limits, completely off-limits. Even in his thoughts.
“Then what are you afraid of?” The scary thing was, she could see that in his position such a suspicion was all too reasonable. And she’d be perfectly willing to understand if she weren’t so hurt by the implication that she would stoop so low. But he didn’t know her. She had to remember that.
“I can’t afford the time and the distraction of a messy court battle. So therefore I think it best we forget about this unfortunate incident.”
“You won’t get an argument from me. I wish it had never happened!” Bitterness left a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. How could he think she’d resort to something so cold, calculating and underhanded as to deliberately entrap him?
“So do I. And please don’t take it personally. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me. I broke one of my own cardinal rules.”
“It’s very big of you to take all the responsibility,” she said sarcastically.
She felt crushed. If she could sense instinctively that he was decent and honorable, shouldn’t he be perceptive enough to know the same of her? Of course, over the past weeks, he’d consumed her every waking thought. It was unreasonable to imagine he would have invested the same amount of time trying to figure her out.
He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and turned abruptly toward the window that looked down on the traffic of Queen Street and the Old City Hall beyond, its contours picked out in lights like a fairy-tale castle.
“So are we agreed that our best course of action would be to ignore this...this unfortunate incident?”
“Yes.” Thank God for the pride that came to her rescue, firming her voice.
He nodded toward the view. “Good night, Sabrina.” His quiet words had a ring of finality.
It was easy for him. All he had to fight was an unwanted, unwelcome physical attraction. For her it had already transcended the physical. But she could do it. She had to. She should just thank God he was the kind of hard, controlled man who could keep matters like this in ruthless perspective.
“Good night, Mr. Worth.”
Her head held high, she turned to leave. But at the door something made her stop and look back. Michael still stood at the window, looking out on the lights below, his hands still shoved into his pockets. A powerful man with the world at his feet. But, despite how deeply he had hurt her, all she could feel at this moment was the sharp, painful conviction of his loneliness.
He turned and saw her dark eyes clouded with genuine concern and pain, and it almost broke his heart. But for that reason he deliberately turned back to the window. He held his breath until he heard the soft click of the door as she left.
Why? Why did he let it go that far? He felt like shit. Not just because of what he’d done but because, even now, he wanted to go after her and call her back, plead with her not to leave him alone. He didn’t want to be alone anymore.
He ran a hand through his hair and let out his breath. What was happening to him? Maybe he was just punchy from the constant commuting to London, and the stress of running two stores an ocean apart.
And then he remembered that white-hot surge of desire, stunning in its intensity. For those few moments he was just feeling, not thinking at all. It was disturbingly reminiscent of the early days with Lorraine, and the conse
quences of that mistake had changed the path of his entire life.
He had had an excuse then: he was just a kid. But he could never allow himself to have his judgment clouded like that again. And yet, even knowing all that, the desire was still there, with an insistency that scared him. But it had to be ruthlessly ignored.
It might be too late already, a small voice warned him. Already the seeds of discontent were taking root. For the first time in his life he wanted more.
4
SABRINA POURED hot salsa into a bowl, put it on the tray beside the bag of nacho chips and headed for the living room. Maybe it wasn’t a balanced meal, but it was all she had the energy to make right now, after a long Saturday working overtime.
A knock sounded at the door and she got up with a sigh. Unexpected company was the last thing she needed at the moment. She just wanted to laze about for the evening.
Through the lace curtain covering the small window in the door she saw Colin’s face and suddenly felt even more tired. She leaned her forehead against the cool white-painted wood. Didn’t the boy know when to stop?
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. “Colin, what are you doing here?” The words weren’t very welcoming, but she didn’t care. The last few weeks of being gentle and tactful had got her nowhere.
But he didn’t seem to notice her sharpness. “He can’t do this to me.” His voice sounded uneven and shaky as she followed him into the room. He stopped and turned to face her.
“Who can’t do what to you?”
“My father, that’s who.” He took a deep breath, but he was shuddering and his lips quivered as if he were fighting back tears. “He’s cut off my allowance. He says from now on if I want money, I’ve got to earn it.”
Her mouth fell open in disbelief. Here she’d been thinking someone had died, but in fact he was just throwing a king-size temper tantrum!
“I have to work at the store all summer, and part-time when school starts. I start Monday morning in the stockroom. And do you know what I’ll be doing?” His face contorted with bitterness as his voice rose to an outraged squeak. “I’ll be in charge of garbage!”
Her compassion evaporated and she felt like laughing. “What’s wrong with that?”
Bravo for Michael. Personally, she thought putting Colin to work was exactly what he needed. Being indulged and idle wasn’t good for anybody’s character.
He stared at her as if she’d just sprouted another head. “What’s right about it? He told me I had to learn the business from the ground up. It’s so damn degrading.” He ground out the last words between his teeth.
“Nothing about working is degrading. What’s really degrading is taking money for nothing.”
The blank look on his face told her that he hadn’t a clue what she meant. All his life he’d been handed anything he wanted. Who could blame him if he thought it was his God-given right to just take?
“But he’s trying to humiliate me,” Colin insisted. “If he had to put me to work, why not in Promotions? I helped you last summer.”
“Yes, I remember,” she said wryly. “Every time I needed you, you were off gallivanting somewhere. The truth is, Colin, you weren’t much of a help.” It looked like there was no alternative to ruthless honesty.
“But the stockroom!” The belligerence had died away and now he simply looked shattered. “He hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.” She let out a patient sigh. “He just wants you to learn the business from the ground up, like he did. What’s wrong with that?”
“My grandmother was teaching me the business, and she didn’t expect me to work in the stockroom. He has no right to do this to me,” he ground out, getting himself all worked up again.
“I’m afraid he has every right,” Sabrina said quietly, and lifted her hand to smooth back the silky blond hair from his forehead, then slipped her arm around his shoulder to give him a reassuring squeeze. “He’s your father.”
“Some father.” With a bitter laugh he pulled away from her abruptly. He began pacing toward the window, then spun around to face her with an accusing glare. “The guy dumped me with my grandmother, then went off to forget about me for the next seventeen years.”
She stared back at him in shock. Was Michael really capable of callously abandoning his child? No, she couldn’t believe, even from the little she’d seen, that he was a man to walk away from his responsibilities.
“I know it must be very difficult to suddenly have this stranger descend on you, but you haven’t given yourself much time to adjust to having your father around....”
“He’s no stranger. He’s back and forth all the time. As a matter of fact, he’s always popping up where I don’t want him to, pretending he cares about me.”
“Make up your mind, Colin. Did he abandon you or not?” She was rapidly becoming exasperated with this boy. She gave him a hard look. “I think you’re exaggerating, don’t you?”
Tight-lipped with resentment, he didn’t reply. Sabrina went over to where he stood by the window. She had to make him see reality. Looking up into his flushed face, she saw the low slanting beams of sunlight gleaming on his taut skin, revealing the fine downy fuzz on his cheeks. He was so young. Something inside her softened. She wouldn’t want to be seventeen again for anything in the world.
She reached for his hands, but he pulled them away, shoving them into his shorts pockets as he turned to look out the window.
“You know, Colin,” she said more gently, “you should stop and think about all the advantages you’ve had....”
“What advantages?” He wheeled around, bitterness etched on his face.
“Money, education...”
He snorted in derision.
“Hey, don’t knock them,” she said sharply. “I know it’s going to be an adjustment earning your living. But it’s no more than most people have to do, every day of their lives.”
“He’s trying to ruin my life.” Now he sounded more forlorn than defiant as he twisted away from her and flopped down on the couch to bury his face in his hands.
Despite her frustration, she had to smile a little to herself at his sense of drama. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that he’d brought his problem to her. He obviously needed someone to talk to.
She went to sit down beside him. “I think he’s just trying to help you grow up.”
From outside, she heard the dull squeak of the screen door being yanked open, then three hard raps on the brass knocker. Getting to her feet, she stepped over to the door. Her heart came up into her throat when she met the blazing anger in Michael’s eyes on the other side of the sheer lace curtain.
She slowly opened the door.
“I apologize for the intrusion, but I’ve come to get my son.” He seemed to look right through her, implacable as granite, the fury tightly leashed in his harsh, cold voice.
“Of course. Won’t you come in?” The sheer force of his anger made her tremble inside. What would happen if that iron control snapped?
Glacial eyes slid away from her as he stepped past her into the room.
“What are you doing here?” Colin had jumped to his feet, his fist clenching, and the familiar sullen hostility in his face.
A cold hand clutched the pit of her stomach at the sound of Michael’s grim, low voice.
“What do you think I’m doing here?”
Even now there was no letting go of the terrible inner control. It was almost inhuman. It frightened her. She couldn’t believe this was the same man who’d kissed her, who had lost himself, even for a few moments.
But then again, she could believe it. His passions would go to extremes, whatever they were, but he would always keep them ruthlessly under control.
“How did you know where to find me?” Two bright spots of color burned on Colin’s pale face and his eyes were rimmed with red.
“I followed you. And it wasn’t easy.”
The boy looked such a pathetic mixture of youth, hurt and defiance. Why couldn’t Mic
hael just go over and put his arm around his son? Why couldn’t they work things out without all this seething antagonism? Why couldn’t he relax that iron control? Why couldn’t life be that simple?
“Couldn’t have been that hard. You’re here, aren’t you?” Colin sneered.
“I have a few comments to make on your driving, but we’ll save that for later. Right now you’re going to get into your car and go home and we will finish the discussion we started earlier.”
“No. I don’t want to.” Colin stared past him.
It seemed impossible for Michael’s face to harden further, but she saw the muscles working as his chiseled jaw tightened, mouth thinning to an implacable line. His quiet voice sent an icy shiver up her spine. “I don’t remember asking you.”
“You can’t force me to do anything.” The belligerence was fading from Colin’s glare. “I’m not a kid anymore. I’ll do what I please.”
“You’ll do what I tell you. Now let’s go.” Michael’s quiet, almost conversational tone didn’t hide the steel in his voice. “We have plenty to discuss, but we’re not going to do it here, and we’ve taken up enough of Miss Cates’s time.”
“No!” The defiance in Colin’s face was now mingled with uncertainty. “Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Sabrina.” His voice quivered dangerously.
Quietly she cleared her throat. “No, Colin. Do what your father says.”
Colin’s sullen gaze slid away. With his mouth clamped tight and his shoulders rigid, he walked out the door, brushing past her without another glance.
Now Michael turned his relentless gaze on her and she flinched. The force of his anger was as tangible as a slap in the face. “You think I’m a bastard, don’t you?”
A spasm of pain tore through her. “Of course not,” she gasped.
His eyes flashed scorn and skepticism. “It’s fairly obvious your sympathies are with Colin.”
“As a matter of fact, I think you did the right thing.” It was hard to breathe, she could feel her heart pounding against her ribs.
“Thank you.”